Friday, December 28, 2007

The Business Christmas Letter, Read Time: 3 Minutes

An email Christmas letter from a guy bragging about his company, his travels. I especially like how in his Christmas letter he brags about how he can't do any more non-profit work because he only cares about his shitty evil company. Who is this guy Ellsworth Toohey?

December 24, 2007 ... Read time: 3 minutes

[Shitty Evil Company]'s growth – we're building the future of portability

In the last year [Shitty Evil Company] has built deep profiles on approaching 100 million people. We gather publicly accessible data across the Internet collecting demographics, psychographics, community memberships, and more about a given person. Then we allow companies, developers, and sites to access this information in order to provide a better user experience to their customers.

We've also given hundreds of thousands of people the opportunity to manage their identity and privacy on the Internet. People can come to [Shitty Evil Company] to see their aggregated online public information and manage (or even delete) it accordingly.

We're especially proud of our tech achievements. We've built one of the most sophisticated deep search platforms and we've been a major contributor to some of the most innovative open-source projects. And we're filing dozens of patents.

One of the things I'm incredibly happy about is the team we've been able to attract – and I'm really lucky to be able to work with this team. We accomplished all this with only 11 full-time employees (with 4 more joining us next year) … and we're looking to double the company in the upcoming months. [Shitty Evil Company] is now officially one of the hardest places to get a job – with an average of over 350 qualified incoming resumes for every offer we give. Our ability to be picky has allowed us to attract absolute rock stars. And let's not forget the $10,007 reward for referrals we hire (we're looking for killer software engineers, BD stars, and product overlords if you have anyone you want to refer).

On a personal note, my life is a bit boring outside of work. When I joined [Shitty Evil Company], I got off all my non-profit boards and involvements to concentrate on the business and have been curtailing adventures like election monitoring, etc. and rarely leaving the office during the week.

I have had the opportunity to advise and/or invest in some fantastic companies like [Companies that would let me be an "angel" for 1000 dollars], and others. On the flip-side, I had my first major angel investment go south this year which is an eye-opening experience as failure is always difficult to take.

I did go to Shanghai briefly this year. I'm absolutely ashamed to say that it was my first time there. I will certainly be there often in the future – I loved it there.

And headed for a vacation to Mumbai for New Year's … will be my first time there too.